Bicycles are like porn stars. Okay, this sound like a setup for a litany or borsch-belt zingers about hard rides and things between your legs. About expensive rides and too much effort. But I mean it seriously, and if you ride and watch porn, I think you'll agree with me.
They're like porn stars because we have opinions about them, even though we've never met them. Gentlemen, you can go to big-time strip clubs, buy all the DVDs, and even get your copies autographed at the Playboy Club, but the chances of having an intimate interaction with Miss January are represented by one of those mathematical functions that approaches zero.
It's the same with quality bikes. Especially if you're a bike magazine geek like myself, you've read plenty of road tests, from the mid-line all the way up to cost is no object artwork. You may have discussed relative strengths and weaknesses with your geek buddies. But even if you're in the position to afford a $12,000 Pinarello Prince, it's very unlikely that you've ever seen one. Bob's Bike Shop can't keep sstuff like that on the floor--hell, even if they did, what makes you think it'd be the right size? It's all special order, and you're going to buy it blind, or on the strength of a factory test ride. Magazines are the only bridge across this divide for most of us, and often the expensive bikes are not just a dream of how we wish to ride, they're a fantasy of who we want to be.
My dream bike for a time was a John TOmac Raleigh. Titanium frame, disk rear wheel, fork that changed, chameleon like depending on who his sponsor was that week. But most importantly, it had a head angle of 72 degrees. This is pretty normal for a road bike, but extremely quick steering for a off road. I wanted to see myself as someone quick enough, skilled enough to keep an expert's bike reeled in: to ride that bull, not the sleepy mare.
The reality of my bike handling skills was less glorious, and the quick-steering bikes I've ridden in the years since have spit me off the side more than once. It's a good thing that 1991 didn't leave me with that kind of cash, because I would have bought nothing with it but crashes.
But that didn't stop me dreaming. I dreamed of Bontragers, with the front wheel tucked so far back that it couldn't wash out on hard turns. I dreamed of Moots, especially after they switched to Ti only. I dreamed of a Ti Xixang, assorted Litespeeds, Steve Potts. Ti turned me on, because of its alleged anti-vibration qualities, not that I'd ever ridden it. My list of two wheeled porn stars started with a Bontraager Ti-lite and a Moots Ybbeat.
Its nearly twenty years since my last race, but reckless financial choices and a much better paycheck have let me buy some of the bikes I'd dreamed about, especially the first two from the list. My Moots was built to order for me, with the soft tail rear and a greasy smooth 80mm fork. The Bon came from Ebay, with a somewhat decrepit Judy but a mixed XTR/XT group. So now the dream begins: time to ride.
The Bon has been my everyday off-raoder for all of this year as I dialed in its fit. I swapped out the ridiculous, complicated Vee brakes for cantilevers, and the oxidized tires for a pair of Velociraptors.
THe Moots came with an LX group, but upgraded (Nukeproof )wheels, and the rear derailleur was upgraded to an XTR. The fork needs service and the chain is worn. The tires, giveaways I recieved for re-upping a magazine subscription, have worn nearly slick and drift alarmingly.
So, I'm going to bring the Moots up to fighting trim, and test it back to back with the Bon. I may be old, and too sorry to race, but it's never too late to dream.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
January 13, 2010
A couple of years ago, I was talking with a guy who knows a lot about old bikes. He’s got multiple degrees, in disparate subjects like mathematics and geology, and he knows how to do a good scientific analysis. But he loves old bicycles, and he loves good bicycles (not that the two are necessarily the same thing), and he knows what makes a good bike good.
He’d been telling me about Rene Herse and Alex Singer, and building up a pretty good head of steam enthusing over these guys, and over the evolutionary approach that they took to bicycle design. They’d each sponsor a team of fast sport riders and build bikes for them. Then the riders, experienced men (women too—Lyli Herse could ride my legs off and yours too, and she’s reached an age and class where garden trowels and triangular sandwiches are more the norm) would tell them what worked and what didn’t. The result was bikes of integrated design, with racks and generator lights, with hubs that allowed a spoke replacement without removing the wheel, and fenders that didn’t rattle. I knew that a new Singer (pronounced Saun-zher) goes for 6900 Euros, not including the trip to Paris to get measured up.
So I asked him, speaking as a poor scribbler, what builder could approximate Singer or Herse performance, but at a price more associated with PayPal than a mortgage. He didn’t hesitate: Jack Taylor, he said. They got the geometry right.
So I did my research. If you know anything at all about old bikes, you know the Taylor brothers story, how they built a frame shop in a tiny, urban-blighted English town; that Norm (a hard man on the road, gentle in person) brazed the frames, Jack designed and painted, and Ken built up the wheels and bikes. They used French-dimensioned tubing, and rode hundreds of miles a week to figure out the fine points. Over four decades give or take, they built close to ten thousand bikes, including unicycles, BMXers, and youth. But mostly they were touring, racing and sport riding bikes, with geometry that let you stay in the saddle all day, take both hands off the bars to grab a bite or pull off a sweater, or choose a road with decaying pavement.
Being a good little rabbit, I immediately started searching EBay, Craig’s, and Classic Rendezvous for a Jack. I wanted one with a compliant frame, 700c wheels, and a front rack. Paint didn’t matter, as all my bikes get ugly in a hurry; size 58 please.
With nearly ten thousand of them out there, I could afford to get picky. This one was too much money, that one too small. (You can find anything in 56cm, but 58s are a lot more scarce.) Another came with sew-ups, one more with Super Tourist tubing. Sigh. All these choices, no perfection.
One seller had been present when the Taylor works closed down, and bought Norm’s repair stand. It’s the old kind, with a cradle for the bottom bracket and a spar running up to catch the down tube. The base is just a big can that you fill up with sand, and it was plastered with decals, for Jack Taylor bikes, local bands, and television characters. While he didn’t have the Taylor bike that I wanted, he did offer to sell me this stand, which I jumped all over. At the time I was fantasizing about becoming a frame builder, and I assumed that if Norm Taylor had used it, it would be useful to me.
In between the time that I wrote the check and the stand arrived, Norm Taylor, aged eighty-something, slipped away for that ride that you don’t come back from. And just as immediately, all the Jack Taylor bikes disappeared out of the market.
Obviously, there weren’t going to be any more Jack Taylor bikes. But there weren’t going to be anymore anyway. Norm had been living in a nursing home, Jack was too feeble to travel, and all three of them had been happy to close the shop and retire. Ten thousand of anything, whether it’s bicycle frames or French fries, is enough for a lifetime, and if the world wants more, then it’s probably too greedy.
I turned Norm’s stand into a bedside lamp, by clamping a photographer’s clamp-lamp to it and filling the base with non-authentic sand. I mean, now it’s a collector’s item, and I dare not pollute its patina with my own brazing fumes. And the price of Taylors, one and all, has jumped from ‘enough money to notice’ to ‘too much to think about.’
I’m reminded about all this by a posting on the iBob list yesterday, where a fellow was selling a 700c Taylor frame, size 57, with fenders and racks, for 300 dollars. The paint looked like the bottom of a city garbage can, and the derailleur hanger was for one of those long-extinct Cyclos. And it was gone before I could send the email, likely gone in the first five minutes.
As cyclists, we like to pretend to be complete pragmatists, justifying titanium bolts and 125lb tires for speed, and a stable of bikes for varying conditions. The reality is, the fashion market is as absurd here as it is for antique cars that you can’t actually travel in, or stamps that won’t carry a letter. Two years ago, nobody could spell ‘randonneur.’ Now Vittoria has a tire with that name, and an EBay search turns up two pages of bike items.
But when you boil it down, I’m not hurt by my lack of a Jack. Yeah, after talking with the Doctor of Old Bike Science, I wanted to start training for Paris-Brest-Paris. I wanted a Jack Taylor to hold me over ‘til I could get a Singer. And I wanted to ride those bikes like a champion. The reality is that I work out of town for a year at a time; that I’m forty five, and that this year’s goal of riding a double metric, without dying, is no more likely to be attained than it was last year. In a way, having a randonneur bike is no different than riding a Trek Madone, or the Raleigh 753 I drooled over as a teen. It’s just a form of posing, albeit in wool instead of Lycra. You can call it hope, or a dream, or a useless fantasy. But it all starts with actually riding, with using all those bikes that are choking my front bedroom, your garage, our imaginations. So I hope you’ll excuse me now. It may be twenty degrees here, but I need to get some miles.
He’d been telling me about Rene Herse and Alex Singer, and building up a pretty good head of steam enthusing over these guys, and over the evolutionary approach that they took to bicycle design. They’d each sponsor a team of fast sport riders and build bikes for them. Then the riders, experienced men (women too—Lyli Herse could ride my legs off and yours too, and she’s reached an age and class where garden trowels and triangular sandwiches are more the norm) would tell them what worked and what didn’t. The result was bikes of integrated design, with racks and generator lights, with hubs that allowed a spoke replacement without removing the wheel, and fenders that didn’t rattle. I knew that a new Singer (pronounced Saun-zher) goes for 6900 Euros, not including the trip to Paris to get measured up.
So I asked him, speaking as a poor scribbler, what builder could approximate Singer or Herse performance, but at a price more associated with PayPal than a mortgage. He didn’t hesitate: Jack Taylor, he said. They got the geometry right.
So I did my research. If you know anything at all about old bikes, you know the Taylor brothers story, how they built a frame shop in a tiny, urban-blighted English town; that Norm (a hard man on the road, gentle in person) brazed the frames, Jack designed and painted, and Ken built up the wheels and bikes. They used French-dimensioned tubing, and rode hundreds of miles a week to figure out the fine points. Over four decades give or take, they built close to ten thousand bikes, including unicycles, BMXers, and youth. But mostly they were touring, racing and sport riding bikes, with geometry that let you stay in the saddle all day, take both hands off the bars to grab a bite or pull off a sweater, or choose a road with decaying pavement.
Being a good little rabbit, I immediately started searching EBay, Craig’s, and Classic Rendezvous for a Jack. I wanted one with a compliant frame, 700c wheels, and a front rack. Paint didn’t matter, as all my bikes get ugly in a hurry; size 58 please.
With nearly ten thousand of them out there, I could afford to get picky. This one was too much money, that one too small. (You can find anything in 56cm, but 58s are a lot more scarce.) Another came with sew-ups, one more with Super Tourist tubing. Sigh. All these choices, no perfection.
One seller had been present when the Taylor works closed down, and bought Norm’s repair stand. It’s the old kind, with a cradle for the bottom bracket and a spar running up to catch the down tube. The base is just a big can that you fill up with sand, and it was plastered with decals, for Jack Taylor bikes, local bands, and television characters. While he didn’t have the Taylor bike that I wanted, he did offer to sell me this stand, which I jumped all over. At the time I was fantasizing about becoming a frame builder, and I assumed that if Norm Taylor had used it, it would be useful to me.
In between the time that I wrote the check and the stand arrived, Norm Taylor, aged eighty-something, slipped away for that ride that you don’t come back from. And just as immediately, all the Jack Taylor bikes disappeared out of the market.
Obviously, there weren’t going to be any more Jack Taylor bikes. But there weren’t going to be anymore anyway. Norm had been living in a nursing home, Jack was too feeble to travel, and all three of them had been happy to close the shop and retire. Ten thousand of anything, whether it’s bicycle frames or French fries, is enough for a lifetime, and if the world wants more, then it’s probably too greedy.
I turned Norm’s stand into a bedside lamp, by clamping a photographer’s clamp-lamp to it and filling the base with non-authentic sand. I mean, now it’s a collector’s item, and I dare not pollute its patina with my own brazing fumes. And the price of Taylors, one and all, has jumped from ‘enough money to notice’ to ‘too much to think about.’
I’m reminded about all this by a posting on the iBob list yesterday, where a fellow was selling a 700c Taylor frame, size 57, with fenders and racks, for 300 dollars. The paint looked like the bottom of a city garbage can, and the derailleur hanger was for one of those long-extinct Cyclos. And it was gone before I could send the email, likely gone in the first five minutes.
As cyclists, we like to pretend to be complete pragmatists, justifying titanium bolts and 125lb tires for speed, and a stable of bikes for varying conditions. The reality is, the fashion market is as absurd here as it is for antique cars that you can’t actually travel in, or stamps that won’t carry a letter. Two years ago, nobody could spell ‘randonneur.’ Now Vittoria has a tire with that name, and an EBay search turns up two pages of bike items.
But when you boil it down, I’m not hurt by my lack of a Jack. Yeah, after talking with the Doctor of Old Bike Science, I wanted to start training for Paris-Brest-Paris. I wanted a Jack Taylor to hold me over ‘til I could get a Singer. And I wanted to ride those bikes like a champion. The reality is that I work out of town for a year at a time; that I’m forty five, and that this year’s goal of riding a double metric, without dying, is no more likely to be attained than it was last year. In a way, having a randonneur bike is no different than riding a Trek Madone, or the Raleigh 753 I drooled over as a teen. It’s just a form of posing, albeit in wool instead of Lycra. You can call it hope, or a dream, or a useless fantasy. But it all starts with actually riding, with using all those bikes that are choking my front bedroom, your garage, our imaginations. So I hope you’ll excuse me now. It may be twenty degrees here, but I need to get some miles.
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