Golden Age

This is, my sister informs me, the Golden Age of Military Surplus. You can almost hear the capital letters when she says it. Laurie's got an IQ that makes mine look like a shoe size, and enough research time to fill those of us with day jobs fill with bile and envy. So if she wants to pass the pronouncement to me, I'll give it the proper emphasis.

Her logic runs like this: We've been at war for a decade now, and thousands of soldiers have cycled through training camps and combat bases. They use a lot of gear, but don't always use it up. Moreover, the army has switched from the green blotchy camouflage to what's called digital camo, which makes the leafy patterns our of quarter inch squares. It makes a uniform shirt look like a screen capture off a Jumbo-tron. That means all the old style has to be turned in, worn out or not. (They call them 'uniforms' for a reason.) And lastly, they've swithced from A.L.I.C.E. (All-purpose Lightweight Individual Carrying Equipment) to MOLLE (MOdular Lightweight Load-carrying Equipment). While the ALice to Molle switch sounds a lot more interesting than it is, it means thaat the old stuff has gotten even cheaper. And a quick look at Ebay proves the point.

I used to ride a lot more miles than I do. Back before they had drugs to treat obsessive-compulsive disorder, I logged six hours in the saddle most days. And when the Paxil fixed that, and I didn't know what to do with myself, it was what my body expected and needed. So I still ride a lot, and think randonneuring and endurance mountain bike races are a lot cooler than they really are.

My first Camel-Bak lasted four or five years and a couple of restitchings before it got pilfered. THe second one made it two years, and the third I gave away because I couldn't stand its tiny capacity, crinkly nylon, and graphics that looked like a Mountain Dew can. Oh, and each of these cost more than a C-note each. My most recent one came from Palmer Tactical, a local cop shop, and is made for SWAT team use. It's black canvas, has all the little lanyards and lash points, and almost contains all my gear. But after two years, the shoulder straps are ripping out and it doesn't look repairable.

Laurie introduced me to the fave of the survivalist set, the army's tactical load carrying vest. It looks kind of like a photographers vest, only better ventilated. It adjusts for sizing with drawstrings, has pouches for ammo clips and grenades on the front, and ALICE straps on the back. It will accommodate a variety of packs, from overnight to campaign size, plus a hydartion bladder sleeve, and other pouches as you see fit to purchase. You can get them on ebay, used and marked with someone else's name, for 15 bucks. The hydration sleeve, made by Camel-Bak, is five. Even if I went back to my 1992 mileage, I couldn't wear this stuff out in a lifetime.

Now the GI Joe aesthetic is one I've never cared for. When you see a young man with a neat haircut and proud bearing in camo, you're proud to know him. WHen you see someone as dissipated and middle-aged as me, you either expect that I've got a bible with the entire book of Revelations highlighted, or else a self-written screed with the word 'manifesto' in the title.

Anyway, I'm going to test this new gear out, and report back.